Think of the most attractive person you know.
Because I am a fucking weeaboo, the first person that comes to mind is an anime character.
It’s so fucking over for me, I know. If she was real, I’d propose to her, immediately. But today, using the example of Kikuri Hiroi from Bocchi the Rock!, I’m going to demonstrate how you can get people to fall over head over heels for you.
On a basic level, we as human beings like it when a person is:
a subject of admiration/envy. You see them and think, “I want to be like them.”
relatable. You see them and think, “They’re human, and have flaws just like me.”
Having one trait is usually enough to make someone like you, but having both makes you hot.
Let’s take a look at Kikuri. She’s introduced to us in the story first as a comic relief character. She’s really just an impoverished alcohol addict that begs friends for money so she can buy more drinks, and it’s a classic “haha look at that drunk, she can’t walk straight and she’s crazy haha” kind of character. You start to wonder why anybody bothers associating with her, but it’s revealed later in the story that’s she’s the frontwoman for a legendary underground rock band named SICK HACK, and she’s a genius bassist. If you don’t find Kikuri endearing for her flaws, at the very least, you’ll be impressed by her talent. If you like both, then you’ve fallen hook, line, and sinker for what the author intended to be a likeable character.
How you present this contrasting information is important as well. Kikuri is never presented purely as a drunkard, or purely as a genius bassist. The author never presents one side without also presenting the other soon thereafter. When she’s first introduced, you have the main cast of high schoolers being unsure of how to handle Kikuri because she’s so drunk, but then one of the cast recognizes her and says, “Hey, that’s Kikuri, frontwoman of SICK HACK!” When Kikuri is onstage, you’ll see her blackout drunk, but still playing frenetic baselines while crushing her vocals. Then she’ll stop in the middle of the song because she’s so drunk she forgot the lyrics. The author puts Kikuri on the proverbial pedestal, then takes her off the pedestal. When the author takes her off the pedestal, they soonafter put her back on. This alternation confuses the viewer/reader, and that’s good, because the most attractive characters and people are seemingly contradictory, and confusing.
There’s a litany of characters/people that are attractive because of this contrast. Jinx from Arcane is a renowned assassin known for her cunning and cruelty (capable), but is schizophrenic because of a traumatic childhood and estranged relationship with her sister (relatable/pity points/almost justifies her crimes). Keanu Reeves, the Hollywood actor, is incredibly down to earth despite his great success and fame and frequently makes it a point to make a fan’s day (relatable/admirable). But he’s also been the star of genre-defining flicks like The Matrix and John Wick(admirable/capable). The list goes on and on.
So how do you make this part of your life? Easy. If you’re someone with traits that make people admire you (smart, strong, artsy, etc.), show everyone your flaws. If you’re more normal and people can already relate to you more easily, an easy way to make people admire you is to show them something you’re good at. Getting good at something isn’t easy, but you’ll be surprised at how little effort it takes to be good enough at something that people admire you for it.
Afterthoughts:
You can actually expand this admirable / relatable contrast to be more all-encompassing if you play around with it enough. Whether in fictional or real settings, we love people with contradictory traits because the traits create a tension that draws us. We’re left perplexed and curious, thinking “How can one person be both X and Y?” Or “How can one person have all these seemingly contradictory traits?”
The aforementioned formula works great for most situations, but you can actually expand it to be any number of traits that seemingly don’t belong together. We love jerks (mean) with a heart of gold (kind), we love absent-minded professors that are at the top of their field (smart), but know nothing about doing laundry in a way that doesn’t wrinkle their clothes (inept at basic life skills), and Jesus (omnipotent god who needs nothing) who died on the cross for us (loves the human race). The Japanese call this gap moe.
The contrast is easiest to show in fiction or life when you have 2 traits that are seemingly at odds with each other, but you can have more traits than that, it’s just that the balancing act becomes harder. You get a more human-like, real character/person, but it is also difficult to properly show off the contrast in a way that makes sense.
None of this is original, I only rephrased what this guy said:
#storytelling
